Funny Faux Pas Follies #5 - And You Think You've Had a Bad Day!

Welcome to the finale of Funny Faux Pas Follies!

For four straight weeks now, you've been able to laugh with me—AND AT ME—over some of the royal blunders from my past.

Now here's one more chance for you to see what a real joker I can make of myself.

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The particular day I'm sharing with you started out like any other typical Sunday in our household.  The family was up early, eating breakfast and getting ready for church.  But as you mothers of young children can attest to, getting ready for anything, when you have young children, involves you getting them ready along with yourself.  And on this day, like every other prior to it, I was doing just that.

We were within minutes of walking out the door, and I was slipping into my skirt and top and putting on the final touches for myself, like perfume, jewelry, and a few spritzes of holding spray for my hair—a necessity back then, to maintain my early 90s hairstyle.  The holding spray was normally the next to last thing to go on, just before I got dressed.  And I usually did all that while everyone else was loading into the car.

On this special day, I got quite a surprise during my "finishing touches" routine.  Instead of the several quick spritzes holding my hair in place, they soaked it to the scalp and caused it to fall flat.  I stood there in shock for a few seconds, watching my hair fall limp all around me.  There was no time to redo my do, so all I could do was get dressed and head for the car.

You see, I was the director of children for the church we attended and had to be there before everyone else arrived, so there was no way I could even play hooky.

I somehow knew that the incident involved my sweet son, Joshua—about eight years old at the time.  So, en route to the church, I asked him if he had used the holding spray while he was getting ready that morning.  And as I had suspected, he had.  When I asked him if he had done anything to the spray or the bottle—other than just use it—he innocently answered, "Well, there was only a little left when I was done, Mom, so I put water in the bottle for you, to give you more."  I was speechless for the remainder of the ride.

We arrived at the church, everyone headed off to their designated places, and I quickly headed to the children's area to make sure that everything was in order.  I remembered I was scheduled to make a presentation in the sancturary that morning, but I had to find time to visit the ladies room first—to see if I could salvage my hair disaster.  I did the best I could to remedy that problem and then darted off to the sanctuary to make my presentation.

I made my way down the large center aisle of the sanctuary, walked up about eight steps onto the platform and made my presentation.  Thank goodness, that part went off without a hitch.  I then walked back down that center aisle and back to the children's area.

As soon as I walked in the first door—leading to one of the infant nursery rooms—one of the female attendants took me aside to tell me that my skirt was unzipped.  COMPLETELY!!!  So not only had I just walked past this large congregation with hair less than properly coiffed, but I had done so with my skirt unzipped from top to bottom!

Now there are a few things you need to understand to be able to put this all into perspective. This was a fairly large church of several thousand members, and because of my position on staff at the church, I could never just slip in and out unrecognized.

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And although not one other person mentioned the episode to me that day, I felt sure this nursery attendant was not the only one to have noticed.

Needless to say, I was more than a little ready to get home that day.  So as soon as possible after the service, I headed for the parking lot to wait for the rest of the family.  But when I got to the van, I got yet another surprise.  I couldn't get the key to work in the lock.  I tried one door and then another—but without success.  After the frustation began to subside, I realized it wasn't even my van.  It was merely a van that looked like mine!

I located our vehicle about the time the rest of the family arrived.  By now, I was REALLY ready to get home.  On the way back, I began contemplating the events of the day, and remembering the holding spray episode, decided to probe Joshua a bit more.  Happy April !st!

My son had always been a very honest person, so I knew he was not trying to deceive me, but I couldn't for the sake of me understand why he would have added water to the bottle.  When I asked him why he had done so, he matter of factly replied, "Because, that's what you always do, Mom.  When the ketchup or the salad dressing, or stuff like that starts running out, YOU add water."

Hearing that sweet, innocent explanation instantly made all the blunders of my day fade away.  And I was reminded that life is too short to sweat the small stuff.  AND BELIEVE ME, ITS ALL SMALL STUFF—in the true scheme of things!  ; )

Every day is a gift.  That's why they call it the present.—Unknown

Happy April 1st!