Welcome to week one of Funny Faux Pas Follies!
I think we're headed for five weeks of sidesplitting laughter and a rip-roaring good time.
I hope you've come prepared to give a laugh or two at my faux pas and share a few of your own.
But, if you can't laugh at yourself, feel free to laugh at me! ; )
It seems that from the moment we females enter puberty, our hormones are determined to take us on a carnival of rides.
First we're up, then we're down. Next thing you know, we're spinnin' round and round!
It's a virtual theme park—and even at times, a house of horrors.
And if all that "normal" hormonal excitement is not enough, there are always the additional thrills associated with "pregnancy hormones".
Honestly, during that nine months, I think we can claim temporary insanity—and be totally justified in the claim!
We find ourselves feeling (as in emotions), eating, saying and doing things that might have been "out of character" before those specialized hormones kicked in.
And while every pregnancy is different, there are enough common factors associated with the condition to merit a special club.
Webster's defines a club as: "a group identified by some common characteristic"—something other than a big belly, in this case.
One of the most common characteristics, shared in this club, is the need for frequent potty breaks—and so begins my story.
I found that as my pregnancy progressed, I needed to "go" more frequently, and it was increasingly harder to "hold it".
On this particular day—toward the end of what seemed liked a very looong pregnancy—I had just entered a retail store, that I had shopped in hundreds of times, when that very familiar sense of urgency gripped my body.
And, of course, in this particular store, the restrooms just happened to be in the very back of the store.
So I scurried away in that direction, as quickly as my plump little belly would allow me.
Now, the square footage of this store was about that of your typical Super Walmart, so picture being almost nine months pregnant and trying to get from the front of the store to the back—IN A BIG HURRY!
Boy, was I glad I had been faithfully practicing my Kegel exercises.
I don't know of a time when I've been any happier to see those universal signs and symbols on two doors, than I was that day.
I had barely crossed the threshold when I began pulling down my pants—yes, I had to go that badly!
But, I was suddenly struck by the fact that something was amiss.
Weren't the stalls on the left side of the room just two weeks ago?
And why on earth did they take the doors off the stalls?
Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something even more perplexing.
Now why would they install urinals in the ladies' restroom?!
Then reality struck. Oh no! I couldn't have!
Yep; I did. I was standing in the middle of the men's restroom, with my pants partially down!
Giving my clothing a quick jerk upward, I dashed out the door and into the one beside it—all the while praying that no one saw this comedy of errors.
But, while I was sitting there, I came up with the perfect excuse, should I find it necessary to explain my curious behavior.
I would just blame it all on hormones! ; )
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