Friday, March 4, 2011

Funny Faux Pas Follies #1 - Blame it All on Hormones!

Welcome to week one of Funny Faux Pas Follies!

I think we're headed for five weeks of sidesplitting laughter and a rip-roaring good time.

I hope you've come prepared to give a laugh or two at my faux pas and share a few of your own. 

But, if you can't laugh at yourself, feel free to laugh at me!  ; )

It seems that from the moment we females enter puberty, our hormones are determined to take us on a carnival of rides. 

First we're up, then we're down.  Next thing you know, we're spinnin' round and round!

It's a virtual theme park—and even at times, a house of horrors.

And if all that "normal" hormonal excitement is not enough, there are always the additional thrills associated with "pregnancy hormones". 


Honestly, during that nine months, I think we can claim temporary insanity—and be totally justified in the claim!

We find ourselves feeling (as in emotions), eating, saying and doing things that might have been "out of character" before those specialized hormones kicked in. 

And while every pregnancy is different, there are enough common factors associated with the condition to merit a special club.

Webster's defines a club as:  "a group identified by some common characteristic"—something other than a big belly, in this case.

One of the most common characteristics, shared in this club, is the need for frequent potty breaks—and so begins my story.

I found that as my pregnancy progressed, I needed to "go" more frequently, and it was increasingly harder to "hold it".

On this particular day—toward the end of what seemed liked a very looong pregnancy—I had just entered a retail store, that I had shopped in hundreds of times, when that very familiar sense of urgency gripped my body.

And, of course, in this particular store, the restrooms just happened to be in the very back of the store.

So I scurried away in that direction, as quickly as my plump little belly would allow me.

Now, the square footage of this store was about that of your typical Super Walmart, so picture being almost nine months pregnant and trying to get from the front of the store to the back—IN A BIG HURRY!

Boy, was I glad I had been faithfully practicing my Kegel exercises.

I don't know of a time when I've been any happier to see those universal signs and symbols on two doors, than I was that day.

I had barely crossed the threshold when I began pulling down my pants—yes, I had to go that badly!

But, I was suddenly struck by the fact that something was amiss.

Weren't the stalls on the left side of the room just two weeks ago? 

And why on earth did they take the doors off the stalls?

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of something even more perplexing.

Now why would they install urinals in the ladies' restroom?!

Then reality struck.  Oh no!  I couldn't have!

Yep; I did.  I was standing in the middle of the men's restroom, with my pants partially down!

Giving my clothing a quick jerk upward, I dashed out the door and into the one beside it—all the while praying that no one saw this comedy of errors.

But, while I was sitting there, I came up with the perfect excuse, should I find it necessary to explain my curious behavior.

I would just blame it all on hormones; )



  1. Oh lord that is too funny! I have so many of these moments but no pictures to go along so I'll see what I can put together =)

  2. Great post!! and thanks for visiting and your nice comments!

  3. I did that when I was a teenager at Six Flags over Georgia!!!! A friend had followed me in and I started yacking about the weird commodes!! There was a man behind one of the few private stalls and he started laughing. Then, I realized that I had screwed up royally and we flew out of there! I did not have my pants halfway down though!!!!

  4. I used to teach scrapbooking. One night a new woman came to one of my crops. She was easily mid fifties in age and not the most hip looking gal. She was working on pictures of two little girls aged 5 and 6. The pictures were current.
    I said; "Oh how sweet, You are Grandma? She said; "No."
    I said; "Auntie?"
    She said, "No." And looked at me perturbed, and said:

    Aw crap. Needless to say I never saw her again.

    xo Jeanne.

  5. Too funny, Jeanne! Yep; I've discovered the hard way, it's much better to walk on my feet than constantly correct my blunders from "sticking them in my mouth"! lol

    Thanks for sharing!


  6. The other question you should never ask is of course one I did when I was younger and of course never did again, and that was, Oh, I didn't know you were pregnant? OOps! never, never will do that again.
    Yes,Liz, I do make some sewing blunders, I will have to try and find some, but they are all pretty much in the trash.

  7. That's a cute story! Some years ago I went to a dinner show in Florida with my stepmom and her neighbors. It was mainly older people so at intermission a huge line formed for the women's restroom. We were all standing in line when a elderly walked out of one of stalls, saw this swarm of women and said "Oops". All the women started applauding and he asked if it would be ok for him to wash his hands. It was so funny, we all got a big kick out of it!

  8. Too funny! I can picture it now. You were lucky that you got yourself out of there in time. I've done this at least three times, but not while pregnant. My innocent thoughts were exactly like yours; you know something is wrong, but just can't think clearly to figure it out. I did this a few months ago at a college book store. I went through the open door and made my way to the lone stall. When I came out, there was a very surprised man taking care of business. I don't know who was more embarrassed.

  9. Too funny!..I often worry about doing the same pays to be observant..

    I have a little funny over @ LazyonLoblolly, and it involves my winnings(the Ramsign).
    Go see what I have created with my winnings.
    And thanks again, I love my sign.WHOO HOOO I was a winner!

  10. Too funny!! I went in the men's room when we were in Vegas last summer...but luckily I didn't get too far! It was pretty embarassing!!

  11. Oh, this is too funny!!! Sometimes when life isn't perfect, those are the most fun times to remember (even though they might not feel like it at the time!)

  12. Too funny...I did this in Tampa last year! Congrats on being the WINNER of my first NTT BIRTHDAY GIVEAWAY...e-mail me your full name and address so I can give it to Rhonda...I hope you enjoy this beautiful pillow that she handmade.


  13. What a very funny post! I really enjoyed it much.

  14. Thanks for your sweet comments!! I will for sure check out your blog on Thursday!! I am excited to be featured!! Love your blog and your hilarious personality!


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